The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone straight from the source (increases libido), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time original site if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for visit this website the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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