The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your hop over to these guys partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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